


Loving You

by lons_nowhere2



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Blushing, Gay Sex, I Love You, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 12:22:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11207997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lons_nowhere2/pseuds/lons_nowhere2
Summary: Simon was gone for a long time and did not plan to come back, but something changed...Maybe it is because of his dream and the person that it is about.





	Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> Good day lovers of the night and day :)  
> So this is my first story. It is set in an Alternative Universe (AU) after the Dark War. It is based on the TV-Show Shadowhunters. The main characters are Simon Lewis who is still a vampire and Raphael Santiago the King of the children of the night.  
> !Attention: There will be M/M (Male/Male), so everyone that does not want to read something like that: you may leave!

Since the Dark War, Simon vanished. He only told Clary where he was going. He didn't want to bother anyone and even telling Clary was against his plans, but he also knew that just disappearing was no good either.  
He has already seen six different countries. And not just the touristic cities but those places that not everyone would go to. He only traveled with one backpack where some clothes and most importantly always two or three blood transfusions were in. Right now he was in Italy. The days were long, the nights warm and short. Most of the time he didn't go out of his little flat that he had rented for less money until the night came. Only at sunset he would go outside and wander around. Through the little village and it's small streets. It was wonderful. Simon finally had an idea of what it felt like being free, with no do's and do not's or obligations. It was great. Almost every night he would walk to a little bay that no one but the local people seemed to know about.  
He was there this night too.  
  
Simon walks slowly. He seems to feel every little sand corn. He lets himself fall in the sand which is still warm from the sunlight that it has soaked in through the day. Right in front of him is the ocean. If he stretches a little his toes will be in the warm water. He runs his fingers through his dark hair that is getting longer than he is used to. He closes his eyes and lays down.  
  
He had cut all contact with New York. His mom didn't want to hear anything from him anymore. Clary was busy saving the world again and doing stuff with Jace. So who should he call or text? Alec or Magnus? For sure Simon would not want to disturb their lovey-dovey. And Jace wasn't even an option. But Simon enjoyed the silence. Nobody caring for him was something that he was used to and something that he welcomed after the Dark War. Simon was now gone for almost three years. And in those three years he got older, not physically, because that wasn't possible, obviously. But mentally.  
  
Simon flinches as the pictures flicker through his head again. He stands up abruptly and walks to the water. _A little splash of freshness will help me forget this dream_ , Simon thinks to himself and swims out of this little bay.  
  
This dream has been haunting Simon since Thailand. The last country he was in for three weeks before Italy.  
  
Simon dips his head into the water and as he emerges on the surface, shakes it as if he could lose through this action his thoughts. His wet hair hangs in front of his eyes and he needs to push it back so he can see again. "It is truly too long.", Simon murmurers to himself. He looks back and sees that the beach is far away. That he can only see the houses shadowy and that the lights are blurry. _When I was a human, I would have freaked and thought that I would die out here_ , Simon chuckles because of this thought and the knowledge that he would not, COULD not die. The thought of death brings back his dream and Simon squeezes his eyes not wanting to think about it. It is not a terrible dream but rather a dream that lets himself remember what is in New York that he tries to forget so hard and what is NOT there. Simon pushes himself on the back, facing the stars that are so bright here, in this almost abandoned ocean. Simon is totally at peace. This moment is so quiet that he could have heard his heart beat if he had one. He tilts his head a little and sees the moon standing in full manifestation. He tilts his head the other way and decides to slowly swim back and to let himself be pushed by the waves.  
  
Simon jolts out of his sleep and his eyes are opened wide. The sweat runs down his temple and neck. It drips on the varnishes. Simons throat is dry and he has the great urge to drink blood. But not blood from a container but from a vein, from a living person. He rubs his eyes in an attempt to clear his mind but he can't help it... He needs blood out of a vein. Simon pulls his legs out from under the blanket and puts them on the stone floor. _Even the floor is warm because of this damn sunlight_ , Simon cries to himself. The clock shows 17:53. "This means it's sunny as hell...", he tells himself as he is getting dressed. Over his underwear which he was wearing when he was asleep, he pulls black shorts. As he opens the door he sticks his head out of his white shirt. He closes the door to his flat and locks it.  
  
Even tho Simon was a young vampire he didn't, not once had an urge to drink from a vein in those three years. But right now? He really needed it. He didn't know why it just overpowered him and every possible thought about something else. Just this dream was stuck in his head. This dream made him doubt every decision he has ever done to be here.  
  
With his sunglasses on, he went into an alley where a club named _Forte_ , _Loud_ is located. The week before Simon had heard some teenagers talk about it and that there should be some downworlders. Simon is relieved when he sees that it is already open but he acts coyly. _It's not the first time that you are going to a club_ , he thinks to himself, _but what if these teenagers didn't mean this club and what if there is no downworlder or no one that is willing to give me some blood?_ Now he is freaking out and trying to find reasons to not go in that Forte-Club. "Posso aiutarla?", says a young voice behind Simon. He is startled for a short time before he turns to face the person. _She can't be older than fifteen_ , Simon thinks as he sees a young girl with long black hair standing in front of him. "W-What?", stammers Simon. "Oh, you are stranger? Can I help you?", she smiles as she starts to speak broken English and with an accent. "Oh... No, I'm fine, thanks.", Simon says and shows a crooked smile. She nods and says: "You want go in? It's cool, very good for not normal people.". She walks past Simon and past the club and to a shop. _So she knows about downworlders?_ , asks Simon himself and is astonished that she was not afraid or didn't even flinched, walking past something like this. Simon looks once again at the club and enters it. As soon as he is in there it's stuffed. He didn't think that it would be that full. He needs to squeeze through the crowd to get to the bar. He leans on the counter and watches the dancing people, to make someone out that is too drunk or that will lend him their blood.   
  
After a long time standing and watching, a guy comes over. "Ciao.", his voice is husky but he is smiling. Simon answers: "Hello.". As soon as those words leave his mouth the other man's eyes widen. "English, ok? I see you scanning crowd. You searching for someone?", Simon doesn't answer. He is just looking at him and tries to figure out if he wants him or not. _You won't find someone better than him, not when you are unwilling to speak to strangers_ , Simon decides to take him or better, his blood and just as much as he needs and not one drop more. Simon nods and the guy begins to talk about some useless things. _He is clearly a mundane,_ he begins to fidget. He needs the blood NOW. So Simon concentrates, looks the other man deep in the eyes and with a soothing voice he whispers in his ear: "You will go to the bathroom and let me drink your blood!". When this sentence is spoken the guy turns and goes straight to the bathrooms.  
  
For a second Simon thought it didn't work because of how young of a vampire he is, but luckily it worked. Lucky for both of them. The saliva would make the unknown man feel good and Simon could go to sleep or at least he would stop fidgeting.  
  
The man is waiting in one of the bathroom stalls. As Simon closes and locks the door to the stall the man is laying his arms around his neck. He's rapidly pushing his face into Simons and his lips onto Simons. "I don't have time for that!", Simon says harshly and pushes the man on the wall. His fangs showed this whole time but Simon couldn't change that fact. He pushes them through the skin of this man's neck and begins to suck his blood.   
  
A while later Simon leaves the club. It's dark now and he is making his way down to his flat. He pulls a package of cigarettes out of one of his pockets, puts one between his lips, lights it and starts smoking. He blows the smoke slowly out and enjoys the smell that he could not stand before.  
  
Simon can't remember when he began to smoke. But it's not like he would die because of it or that it would taste good. He just started and never had the urge to quit. Walking felt like an eternity. He could have run but Simon wasn't feeling like it. Right now he didn't want to do anything.  
He had that kind of feeling a lot of times lately, it probably began after this dream occurred.   
When Simon arrived at home he just fell into bed and didn't want to leave it for the next few weeks.

At 19:02 Simon is standing on a street, occasionally holding his thumb up when a car drives past him. 

When Simon came back to his flat last night he was whacked. He could not sleep because his dream was always there and came back every time he closed his eyes. A face with a perfect jawline would watch him and he would hear things exploding. So loud that he thought he is going to be deaf. 

Simon shakes his head, doesn't want to think about this and holds his thumb up as he hears a car. The car rushes past him and Simon doubts that the driver even saw him.  _Well, it was dumb thinking that at this late time someone would pick you up and let you in their car_ , Simon thinks and sits down. _What do I want to do next?_ , a voice inside of him screams to go back to New York, to his friends that are probably missing his dorky presence. But another voice tells him that the dream is just telling him that and that the situation how it is right now is better than it would be in New York. He did not know which voice to trust, but he did know that both voices lie. Simon goes through his long hair and lays his forehead on his knee. Simon sighs, gets up and walks, with his backpack on his shoulders away from the town and along the street. After watching the town disappear he begins to run.   

     
__  
  



End file.
